“Be not afraid, only believe" January 23, 2012 Great Bend, KS
Hi everyone!
I hope you are all enjoying your Monday.
So guess what? Transfers happened. I didn't mention them last week because I didn't think anything would be happening to us down here in Great Bend. I was wrong. We got the call late Tuesday night from the APs that Sister Mendez would be leaving and training. It was a huge surprise! Sister Mendez was freaking out. I did the best I could to calm her down, although it didn't do a whole lot of good. Bless her heart :) After the longest 20 minutes ever the rest of the transfer calls came in. I knew exactly who my new companion was going to be and I was right. It was then my turn to freak out.
President called me the next morning and asked me to be a sister leader. That means I'm in charge of 4 other sisters; taking care of them, doing exchanges with them and then reporting it all to President Keys.
Also, my new companion is Sister Rupper. She has been out a transfer longer than I have and is from Wichita Kansas, so she is close to home. Sister Rupper has Aspergers Syndrome which is a form of autism and is a bit of a "challenge" but has a really kind heart and sweet spirit. It’s going to be a very different transfer. Honestly, it’s all going to be okay, of course nowhere near like things have been but it’s going to be okay.
Tuesday night I didn't get much sleep. I kept thinking about the fear I had running through me and the challenges I knew would be coming. I finally gave up trying to sleep and went to the living-room to study. I opened where I left off in the New Testament, Mark 5 and began reading. I read the following scripture, “As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, he saith unto the ruler of the synagogue, Be not afraid, only believe."
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| Sister Rupper and Me |
Talk about receiving answers! I read it over and over again. "Be not afraid, only believe." Those 5 little words consumed my thoughts as I sat there at 1:30 am in our little apartment. It wasn't fair of me to be anticipating what was coming. It wasn't fair to her or to me. At that moment I knew what I had to do.
Our day Wednesday consisted of running around with our heads cut off while Sister Mendez tried to say goodbye to everyone. I can't explain to you how heart breaking it was to see Sister Mendez say goodbye to our Spanish investigators, especially Saul. Ugh, goodbyes are the worst, especially when you don't have another Spanish missionary coming to the area and no one from the ward is willing to do it. (but that is a whole separate story in itself).
Through our entire running around process we stopped by The Siefkies home. Sister Siefkies had us sit down at her kitchen table for a minute. The first thing she asked Sister Mendez was, "what have you learned from being here?" As they talked I kind of zoned out until suddenly I heard the same question directed toward me. What have I learned? What have I learned the past 12 months, the past six weeks and the past 3 hours? What have I learned but am I also recognizing it?
Those questions have been running though my head constantly since. I've learned that life is not any more perfect when you are a missionary. I've learned that without the Spirit I am not a missionary. I've learned that the Missouri, Independence Mission is exactly where I needed to be sent. I've learned more about the gospel, the Spirit, people, love, humility, compassion, faith and myself than I ever imagined I could. I really have learned what it means to be on a missionary and not just be on a mission.
I know this gospel is real. I know that our Heavenly Father knows each of us and helps us in the best of times and even more so in our most trying times. I know that the next 6 weeks will bring challenges, miracles and blessings like I have never seen before. I know that what I make out of the next transfer is completely and totally up to me, and I know with all my heart that everything is going to be okay. "Be not afraid, only believe."
I love each of you. Thank you for your prayers and love. They mean more to me now than I could ever express to you.
Be safe.
Sister Kenz
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